losing your marbles

We have a new behaviour modification technique. Let's just say that Eden has been driving me to the limit when we have been stuck at home recently.

I got this idea from the Troughtons (where a whole stack of parenting expertise has been observed over the years and tucked away for future use). This is one that came to mind and I could not wait to it get through the ethics committee (Duncan) to implement as soon as possible before I went completely around the bend.

All it requires is a $6 pack of 100 marbles and an old jam jar. When Mum catches the particular small boy doing something helpful, being kind to his baby brother (instead of sitting on him or worse), using manners and doing what he is asked straight away - he gets to plunk a marble into the jar. It makes a lovely sound and looks gorgeous. Forget about the fact that when the jar is full you get to choose a reward - we are just absorbed in the process at the moment - thank God and I do mean thank God. How great is it to be focussing on the positive than being driven mad by the negative.

Here I was originally looking at it as a new avenue for punishment - I was all set to take marbles out for the incredibly annoying behaviours I have been putting up with - but how dumb was that? I was forgetting my basic psychology and teaching training. Positive reinforcement is the most powerful behaviour modifier! I think he will only get a marble taken out if he makes Caleb cry, not sure, we'll see how we go...

sparrow

Just also to say that Eden has been eating like a sparrow during this whole sicky period and it has been hard to get him back into eating a good amount. I have to say we have had much better results since letting him sit at the table with us rather than strapped in that old high chair that he is probably too small for now. Caleb will be in it in a month or two. Eden has been sitting at the table for breakfast for I don't know how long - so long I can't remember, and him and I usually sit at the table for lunch too unless it is baked beans (messy messy) but they are the easy to eat meals. Getting him to stay in his seat at dinner time is a challenge all of its own... There are up and down days as you can imagine.

Tonight was great. Duncan had been out at a basketball game last night (spectating - get real) and brought home some loud plastic clapper thingis. When Eden put a mouthful in to his delight he got majorly clapped! I was glad Caleb was in bed at the time because it was all a bit full on but dinner got eaten!

hibernation

Sorry to have the previous April entry uploaded another month or so down the track - I had forgotten I had started it - and now of course have no idea what else I intended on writing in it!

We are coming out of hibernation again. That's what I call it when I feel as though I have not connected with my local community for a while either because we have been sick or because we have had family staying - recently it has been a combination of both.

I have not been to church for 2 weeks and playgroup for 3 weeks. Doh. It started off just as a little cold - though Caleb did have a fever for a few hours too. I thought he was better but by the time Uncle Mike got the bug over Queens birthday weekend - it had turned into a lengthy lurgy for all who cared participate... One that starts with a horrible sore throat for about 5 days, then you feel awful and then you get the whole nasal action which is just soooo attractive on young children who cannot manage their own mucus...

Boy oh boy baby Caleb got some tough love when the whanau went back to Hamilton and he was back in his own room. He had been waking quite a lot in the night with the said lergy but I had begun to think he was trying it on a bit and was actually better.

The first night back in his own cot he woke at 9 something pm and I listened to his wails for around half an hour as I did the dishes... He woke again somewhere in the region of 3 - 4am and did about 45 minutes of yelling. That was quite hard to take and when he finally settled - I didn't and had to go into his room and check on him and tuck his wee legs back under the covers.

The next night he only made a few short squeals a couple of times in the night.

The night after that he did another 3am half an hour jobby, the next night a few sqeaks and since then nothing! yay!

Eden had made quite an exhibition of himself not going to bed very well when his cousis were here (and of course it is always worse with exciting visitors around). So we have tried to go back to zero tolerance since we had slowly without realising it, gotten a bit slack. Unfortunately he can now often open the door even with the flannel on the top trick so I was beginning to get desperate for another idea. The whole toileting thing is going ab fab and no more star charts are needed (because he now knows when to 'go' all by himself yay) so I started one for bed time but he just could not do it. He just could not stay in bed. He earned a kite a while back for some toileting thing and is keen to fly it but knows that he won't until he manages to stay in bed all night!

I soon turned to "Toddler taming" a great book given to us from Tim and Megan. The last two nights we have employed the rope trick. Brilliant. We went down yesterday morning to the Karori hardware store and bought us $4 worth. Sounds ominous but is simply tying the door handle to another one near by. The child can open the door - enough see a little bit but not enough to get out. We can say - "love you - now get back into bed," etc and he does not have much choice.

Big boy Eden will start kindy next week and I am hoping that the sleep thing will improve because no doubt he will be zonked because kindy occurs when he normally would have an afternoon nap (which I think he really only needs every second day - perfect). I knew you could get into Wrights Hill kindy earlier because it is a bit further away from the schools than the other 2 kindys (and therefore less popular) but I was very surprised to be offered a place immediately! I think the timing is perfect and just what he needs at the moment.

So we will come out of hibernation for a week in time for Grandma and Grandad coming to stay the week following! All good.